makin’ t-shirts

Ya never know what hobbies might rise to bite ya in retirement.  All that brain power that used to go to the job now is free to take on God-knows-what.  I never thought I’d pick up an iron again.  Heck, all my white shirts were perm press, so I didn’t even need it for that.  But add in an activity that marries that ancient implement with computer graphics and a scissors and you’ve got one of my new passions.  It began with an innocent exchange with my dear friend and double classmate (VHS’70, UM’74) Darai out there in the land of fruits and nuts telling me how she’s making her own t-shirts, and how to do it.   Sounded pretty simpleß, and I’ve been wanting to duplicate that t-shirt I should have bought in the U of C bookstore back in the day which celebrated all 7 of the Maroons’ Big-Ten championships.  The file of the ad I’ve kept since med school days is victim to a recent screen crash, but I’ll find and rescan.  It was a cute ad with a smiling little boy wearing a very baggy shirt saying the things you see below.  Here’s the art that will be on it:

The UofC bar will be arced (need to relearn how to do that), and that Apple purple isn’t quite the UofC maroon. That guy in the familiar pose is legendary UofC halfback Jay Berwanger, who in 1935 was deemed the best player in college football and received the first award from New York’s Downtown Athletic Club recognizing that fact, later named the Heisman.  He was selected 1^st in the first NFL draft, going to the Eagles who traded him to the Bears.  Because of salary disputes and his wish to compete in the decathlon in the 1936 Olympics, he never played a down in the pros.  Berwanger’s heroics could not bring another championship to the Maroons, who went 4-4, 2-3 in the Big 10 that season.  Football was disbanded at UofC 4 years later, dormant till emerging as a club team in ’63, which became varsity in ’69 and began competing in Division III in ’73.

But UofC football in its heyday!  The original Monsters of the Midway!  National titles in 1905 and 1913! Amos Alonzo Stagg!  Whose fierce rival was our own Fielding H. Yost (1), with one of their contests inspiring the composition of The Victors! (2), ”Greatest college fight song ever’’ – John Phillips Sousa.

Back to t-shirts, there’s not much to it, really.  Key element is the transfer paper, onto which you print your design to iron on to a blank t-shirt.  Comes in two forms: “dark”, which receives the image as is to be ironed on and “light” in which an 180⁰ flip gets imprinted and that image gets impregnated to the shirt with the ironing, the paper removed.  The latter is much trickier to use, but can be applied to all colors, whereas the “dark” will only work on white or lighter colors.  I got all the design details of my U of C recreation straight: the curved arch of “University of Chicago”, Jay Berwanger’s iconic Heisman pose, and spacing of all the years of championships.  But getting that to a maroon t-shirt was a dismal failure.  A reattempt awaits my mastery of “light” transfer methods.  I’ve got plenty of paper and another blank maroon t-shirt.

But having gotten the hang of the design process, I took on some other projects.  The t-shirts really should be fresh, new, washed, and ironed.  Fortunately, Gildan cotton t-shirts in all sizes are extremely cheap on Amazon (3).  You probably could pull something from your underwear drawer, but with the effort that goes into the design, you’d like to see the final product looking nice.  I haven’t really been doing this non-stop since I figured out how.  In fact, I’ve only successfully made 8 different shirts since early 2020, embellishing a couple others.

Before I describe the shirts, let me address the peanut gallery.  You say that making t-shirts is not a very manly activity?  Why, it requires 2 power tools – the computer and the iron – 3 if you count the printer!  Can I get a few Tim Allen grunts out there? (4).  And it’s hazardous!  The surface of a hot iron can reach 400⁰ F (5), and there can be all that steam.  You’re one step away from the burn unit!  Add the combination of electricity and water and there’s also that electrocution thing.  No wonder women have largely abandoned the activity.  But those are risks I’m willing to take for my art.  Once upon a time, the hot iron came directly to board from the roaring stove that had heated it up.  Left unattended, up in flames goes the board and often much else with it.  Such iron mishaps were once such a common cause of house fires that my grandpa – a Grand Rapids fireman – working at #10 Engine House which still stands on 1734 South Division, having opened its doors on 1/22/29, the year Grandpa joined the department – 

invented and patented a device – the Slater Safety Stand – that clipped on the end of the board and provided a safe resting place for a hot iron.

Grandpa advertised the Stand with an informative 4-page brochure.

I don’t know how it sold.  He continued to fight fires till he retired in 1959 at age 60.  Although you can’t find the item on Amazon or eBay or anywhere on the net for that matter, there is a company in the U.K. that’s appropriated my grandpa’s last name while promoting work wear and safety devices (6).  Today’s irons have safety switches that turn them off when left in one position.

So, here’s what I’ve made.

California Health Corps: made up when I read of Gavin Newsome’s cockamamie plan to recruit docs with lapsed California licenses into a corps that would staff facilities for all the COVID patients sure to come (7).  The perk was a freebie 6-month license renewal, and some lowball civil service-type compensation.  Most applicants weren’t eligible, and the need never materialized (8).  My own application was never acknowledged.

I made one for my buddy in La Jolla, complete with his med school on the sleeve.   Since neither of us was ever called up, I don’t know if he wore it into battle.

Rocket Surgery: a beer label turned in a shirt for my dear wife, who was adept at this most difficult of tasks.

Space Camper: another beer label for the missus, who would pitch her tent on Mars on a moment’s notice.

G.O.A.T.:  a tribute to Michigan’s own Tom Brady after his 7^th Super Bowl victory.  Yes, he is. My file name for this scan is “Our Tom”.

The table on the back didn’t scan well. Here’s what it looks like:

Next: Deplorable Lives Matter. To what political figure could this be referring?  I’m into my 3^rd version of this shirt, recently updated for 2024.  Worn by MAGA-heads in both peninsulas and as far West as California.

Since making the original, I found something better for the back (with apologies to R.Crumb, who has not yet complained):

And since 2024’s not a re-election, I’ve even changed the front a little:

Too political for you?  In the age of COVID, any statement contrary to the Narrative was accused of being political.  But in the summer of ’21, ya just had to.   How better could you express your opposition to the jab than say “I like the nucleic acids God gave me”?  The big picture of Nancy Reagan on the back says it all: “Just say no!”.  I put it together very early into the vaxx mandate push, but it has held up well.

The list under Nancy didn’t scan well.  Here’s what it said to “Just say no” to:

I’ve also ironed on the image of a fierce bulldog onto my Vicksburg sweatshirt, and I’ve embellished my own white U of C t-shirt.  See those later.

After I started writing this post, I went to Ireland for 2 weeks with my wife to celebrate her birthday and my mom’s 90^th.  Circumstances there inspired 2 more t-shirts.

I’ve written about my oldest sis Ishka (Jolene).  She doesn’t like my blog, but she liked this t-shirt.  Ishka happens to be the name of a popular bottled water in Ireland, besides the nickname she’s sported since her teens.  How convenient!  But it all goes back to Ish Kabibble!   For a more thorough explanation, see here (9).

For most of the shirts, I’ve lost the files for the sleeve portions.  But not for Ishka!

We all loved Out of the Blue, a seafood only restaurant in the fishing village of Dingle (10).  Younger sis Di (“Jack”) and Mom got one of these.

That map of Dingle on the back didn’t scan too well.  Here’s what it looked like:

Here’s my latest.  Made for Kathy to commemorate our whirlwind August ’22 trip to Phuket (“poo-ket”) Thailand.  The flag on the front is not the country’s official flag, but the flag flown by the ambassador from Thailand.  Kathy and I loved the elephant.

Caught the sleeve decorations for this one, too! 

I collect material for future projects in a file on my hard drive.  I also reproduce designs for friends, as I did with the “nucleic acids God gave me” for my friend and retired nurse Barb last summer.

The “embellishments” aren’t as much work, but the little additions can make a big difference.

Here’s my Vicksburg Bulldogs sweatshirt (proud VHS’70 grad) to which I added the great bulldog logo created long after I’d left the ‘burg.  As you can see, the appliqué fades a little with repeated washing, but can be rejuvenated by a new iron-on.

Here’s what that dog looks like before he’s made a couple dozen trips in the washer:

A fresh appliqué should restore the shirt. I don’t know how many times the process can be repeated.

I bought a simple white t-shirt from the University of Chicago bookstore a few years ago.  All that white in front begged for an addition.  U of C has an awesome crest, a gryphon arising from flames (the Phoenix) and letting out a full-tongued squawk, under the U’s motto: “Crescat scientia: vita excolator (let knowledge grow from more to more, and so be human life enhanced)”.  But in 2012 a maroon monochrome supplanted the original seal, which had been developed by the Boston firm serving as the architects of U of C, approved at a Board of Trustees meeting in 1909, 19 years after the university’s founding (11).  This seal featured the gryphon in glorious multicolor, even more riled up, rising from a golden flame defiantly protruding its blue tongue.   It’s said to symbolize the rise of Chicago itself after the great fire of 1871.   I think they keep it under wraps these days so as not to scare people.  

Guess which one I put on my t-shirt?  I couldn’t resist announcing on the back my particular U of C ties.

So that’s the output so far.

Tired of paying a buck a sheet for transfer paper, I just laid in 100 sheets for a mere 69.95 on Amazon.  Surely there will be more t-shirts to come.  Plus, I’ve got plenty of “lights”.  I may make the “U of C Big Ten Champions” yet.

“Oh, lookie, I just did!” was how this post was supposed to finish, followed by a picture of the facsimile t-shirt I’d managed to manufacture.  Alas, I still do not have the touch with “light” transfer paper, in which a mirror image is printed on the transfer paper ironed onto the garment.  I even spent $80 on eBay for a heat press, which does the ironing thing in a more precise manner.  

This is how serious t-shirt makers do it. Am I becoming one?  Works like a dream.

But it’s been almost a year since I wrote the entire draft for this post missing only the “UofC Big 10 Champs” t-shirt.  I decided not to let the perfect be the enemy of the good, and hereby release this post.  And remember, clothes make the man (and woman)!

References

1. Kryk J.  Stagg vs. Yost.  The Birth of Cutthroat Football.  Lanham MD: Rowan and Littlefield, 2015.  https://www.amazon.com/Stagg-vs-Yost-Cutthroat-Football/dp/1442248254/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1EF8KR2WYKMZ5&keywords=stagg+versus+yost&qid=1704847916&sprefix=stagg+versus+yost%2Caps%2C112&sr=8-1&ufe=app_do%3Aamzn1.fos.006c50ae-5d4c-4777-9bc0-4513d670b6bc

2. Ike B.  Hail Sousa!  Hail Elbel?  WordPress 3/6/22.  https://theviewfromharbal.com/2022/03/06/hail-sousa-hail-elbel/

3. Gildan Men’s Crew T-Shirts, Multipack, Style G1100.  Amazon.com. https://www.amazon.com/Gildan-T-Shirt-Multipack-Black-X-Large/dp/B077ZMKWVM/ref=sr_1_3?crid=19F5OHPXINS1O&keywords=glidden%2Bt-shirts&qid=1656802897&sprefix=Glidden%2Bt-shir%2Caps%2C106&sr=8-3&th=1&psc=1

4. Every Tim Allen grunt from Home Improvement.  YouTube.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQwYNca4iog

5. Staff Writer. How hot does a hot iron get?  Reference 4/7/20. https://www.reference.com/world-view/hot-iron-fff5a227e1dc3f5e

6. Slater Safety.  01772 691 000.  https://slatersafety.co.uk/

7. Ike B.  Come back West, old man?  WordPress 4/5/20.  https://theviewfromharbal.com/2020/04/05/come-back-west-old-man/

8. Ike B.  What kind of army is this?  WordPress 5/17/20. https://theviewfromharbal.com/2020/04/05/come-back-west-old-man/

9. Merz C.  The history of “Ish Kabibble”.  Hagen History Center 7/8/22.  https://www.eriehistory.org/blog/the-history-of-ish-kabibble

10. Dine at Out of the Blue.  https://outoftheblue.ie

11. The University of Chicago Library.  Frequently asked questions about UChicago history.   Answers.  Symbols.  When was the University Seal adopted?  https://www.lib.uchicago.edu/scrc/archives/frequently-asked-questions-about-uchicago-history/#Seal