Today, March 10th, marks the second anniversary of the report of the first 2 COVID cases in Michigan (1). In response, our Gov. Bimbo – a.k.a. “That Woman from Michigan” (2), Gretchen (half) Whitmer of the plastic face and the 40Cs – declared a State of Emergency. Within a week, she urged social distancing and community mitigation strategies, closed all K-12 schools, banned gatherings of 250 or more (reduced to 50 three days later), imposed price controls, restricted visiting hospitals, nursing homes, and jails, and closed all bars, restaurants, coffee houses, and gyms (3). In another week, she closed all hair, nail, tanning, massage, spa, tattoo, body art and piercing services and issued infamous Executive Order 2020-21 (4), keeping all but “essential” workers at home and also restricting all manner of shopping transactions. Boy, with that roping off flags and gardening supplies, keeping our empties at home, and staying away from restaurants, that ol’ curve didn’t know what hit it, did it?
In honor of the occasion, I have gathered up all the non-essential face diapers in our house and cars (38 in there, including 6 N95s).
And cast them into the fire, for they certainly have not borne good fruit (5)
These chain-link fences have stopped their last mosquito. We had scallops and champagne as we watched this, this joyous conflagration. Yes, we engaged the Harry Nilsson soundtrack.
Such events are always better with a soundtrack. The late great Harry Nilsson had one for this (6).
Of course, I kept a few, like the cute ones and ones with a message
And of course, we saved those wonderful “unMasks” that Kathy found, which look like legit masks – even having a midline seam to look like an N95 – but have pores large enough to let you breathe comfortably and not fog up your glasses (9).
With mask and vaxx mandates falling left and right all over the country, the U and local AA businesses are holding fast to theirs, although the U buckled a bit Wednesday. So Kathy and I will continue to spit into a tiny funnel weekly and will never leave the house without an UnMask in our pocket.
The fun folks at Babylon Bee have offered up some alternative uses for those old masks. (10)
This ain’t over yet. Eric’s gotta keep singing his song (11)
PS. Before masks became a hysteric controversy, I reviewed the features of various ones and how they may or may not work against coronavirus. (12), if you’re at all interested.
PPS. If you want to dive deep, check out the accumulated tweets from Ian Miller on masks (13).
1. Haddad K. Michigan confirms first 2 cases of coronavirus, both in Metro Detroit. Cases confirmed in Wayne and Oakland counties. CLICK ON DETROIT 3/11/21. https://www.clickondetroit.com/news/2020/03/11/michigan-confirms-first-2-cases-of-coronavirus-both-in-metro-detroit/
2. Smith A. ‘That Woman from Michigan’: Gov. Whitmer stands out in the pandemic. Just ask Trump. nbcnews.com 4/8/20. https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/donald-trump/woman-michigan-gov-whitmer-stands-out-pandemic-just-ask-trump-n1170506
3. Haddad K. Michigan coronavirus timeline: Key dates, COVID-19 case tracking, state orders. Tracking coronavirus in Michigan. CLICK ON DETROIT 4/27/20. https://www.clickondetroit.com/health/2020/03/24/michigan-coronavirus-timeline-key-dates-covid-19-case-tracking-state-orders/
4. Read Michigan Gov. Whitmer’s entire coronavirus stay-at-home order. MLive.com 3/23/21, https://www.mlive.com/public-interest/2020/03/read-michigan-gov-whitmers-entire-coronavirus-stay-at-home-order.html
7. Ike B. masks. WordPress 4/30/20. https://theviewfromharbal.com/2020/04/30/masks/
8. Ike B. masks II. WordPress 5/1/20. https://theviewfromharbal.com/2020/05/01/mask-2/
9. the UnMask. breathe with us. https://getun
10. 8 Fun Uses For Your Masks Now That Mandates are Lifted. The Babylon Bee 3/8/22. https://babylonbee.com/news/8-fun-uses-for-your-masks-now-that-mandates-are-lifted
11. Eric Clapton – This Has Gotta Stop (Official Music Video). YouTube. 8/27/21. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dNt4NIQ7FTA
12. Ike B. Who was that masked man? WordPress 4/16/20. https://theviewfromharbal.com/2020/04/16/who-was-that-masked-man/
13. Harambe. If you’re still on the fence about masks, consider this fellow who’s been using government data to savagely debunk mask myths every day for nearly 2 years straight. Not the Bee 3/8/22. https://notthebee.com/article/if-youre-still-on-the-fence-about-masks-consider-this-fellow-whos-been-using-government-data-to-savagely-debunk-mask-myths-every-day-for-nearly-2-years-straight